Of Pickup Lines & First Valentines
by FantasticJackie
Summary: Valentines Day for our favorite Marauders as 6th years and during OotP. Is the holiday really all it's chalked up to be? LilyJames and RLNT


**_Of Pickup Lines & First Valentines_**

_By: Jackie_

**Disclaimer: **I do not claim to own Harry Potter.

**Author's Notes: **This one was written for the Love Hearts Challenge at the Metamorfic Moon LJ community. Happy Valentines Day - in the middle of April. ;) There are two main pairings in this, but I decided to go with James & Lily as the main couple since it's a longer part, but there's also quite a lot of Remus & Tonks as this was written for their pairing. If you're looking for something shorter with more emphasis on humor, you can check out the shorter version of this at Metamorfic Moon. (End shameless community plugging)

"Well," James announced throwing his arms around Sirius and Peter, "Let's get out there, men."

The four friends – Remus standing obligingly behind the others, uninterested and brooding – looked across the vast expanse of the Great Hall. It had been transformed into a dance floor, abundantly decorated with pink and red and giggling, flirting girls. – Or wait. They were the attendees.

Remus sighed in annoyance. "And what exactly are we doing 'out there?'"

James spun around affronted. "What else? Finding Valentines, of course!"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"It's not _our_ fault you dumped your girlfriend the day before Valentines Day," Sirius cruelly pointed out.

He coloured. "One, she wasn't my girlfriend. And two, I didn't dump her! Get your facts straight, Padfoot."

He shrugged. "The way I see it, you had a girl for today and you _again_ wasted the opportunity. There's no real difference."

His brows furrowed together, face turned down and feet kicking the ground. "This is never a good time for me, anyway." It was true: last year, he _had_ had a girlfriend, but two days before the romantic holiday had rolled around, _she'd_ dumped _him_. Yet somehow, history had recorded it as his fault.

"Aww, come on," pleaded Peter. "It'll be fun. I'm sure-"

"What will be fun?" Remus interrupted in a rare show of impoliteness. "The sneering, scoffing, and rejections? I rather heartlessly put an end to a secret admirer's hopes and fantasies yesterday. - "

"She had it coming after that singing one was delivered in McGonagall's…" James mused.

"Oh, Remmie!" Sirius swooned in a sing-song voice.

He continued without pausing, "After last year, I know it's all over the school by now: Prefect Lupin botches things up with another girl crazy for him in time for Valentine's Day. I'm public enemy number one amongst the female class."

"Wouldn't the method of what you did yesterday be more of the reason than today's date?" Peter weakly suggested.

Padfoot rolled his eyes. "You're making too much of this." He looped his arm behind Remus' neck and gestured to the Hall. "You see all those young ladies?"

He held back an eye roll of his own at his friend's proper reference; it was far too foreign for him.

"They're all hoping to have a _little_ romance tonight. You're not an enemy; you're a hero! You're free for one of them." He grinned, pleased with his explanation.

Remus gave a sidelong glance. "Somehow, I doubt that."

"Trust me!"

"Oh, I do indeed," he replied dryly.

Peter sniggered, catching the sarcasm. He was rewarded with a smack behind his head.

"Shut up, Wormtail."

"Ow…" he pouted.

"And I suppose," Remus continued with a lingering glance on Peter as he rubbed his head, "You have a simple, sure-proof way to go about this."

"But of course! – Prongs, assist me."

James, who had been watching the dance apparently looking for a certain someone, perked as his name was mentioned and quickly moved to stand before his friend. "Who am I playing?"

"You be the girl."

He huffed with an irritated glance, but adjusted his posture to get into character. Chest puffed out, he batted his eyelashes and giggled. "Oh!!" he said in a high, falsetto voice, "I wish I had someone to dance with!!" His eyes swept over Sirius, and he giggled again, quickly averting his gaze.

Peter was laughing uncontrollably. Remus, a grin etched on his features, made the quiet remark so that only his observing companion could hear, "He's pretty good at that, isn't he?" Peter's mirth only increased.

Sirius, holding back his own amusement, approached the 'damsel.' "Good evening," he said in a low voice.

"Oh! Oh, hello! Hm hm hm hm!" 'she' giggled some more. In his natural voice, he called past Sirius, "Pretend I'm blushing!"

"We don't have to pretend," Remus called back wickedly.

Peter, who had successfully concealed his laughter, burst out again.

'Miss' Potter scowled, but re-focused his attention on the play at hand.

"You are, without doubt," Sirius was saying, all eyes on 'her,' "The loveliest valentine in this entire room."

"You can't be serious," Remus deadpanned.

Giggle. "You're such a tease!"

Hand smacked forehead.

"Well then," Sirius said stepping closer, "Let's dance." And he made to bestow a kiss on 'Miss Potter's' hand.

"Oh, good!" entered a recognizable female voice, "You two are perfect for each other!" All eyes turned to see Lily, on the arm of an unknown sixth-year from a different house, heading for the Great Hall.

James turned beat red and tore his hand from Sirius, but stopped short of attempting an explanation.

"I'd heard that neither of you had dates this evening, but I'm so glad to know those rumours were false."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "There was no sense in _bringing_ a date; it's better to pick one up. Desperation and all."

"I see…" she said obviously holding her tongue and turned instead to Remus. "I wish the rumours regarding you were false, but unfortunately, I was there."

Despite himself, he flinched. It was no surprise to him that she had been there; half of Hogwarts had to have been in attendance. Perhaps that was a slight overestimation, but seeing as how it had happened in the Great Hall…

The plan had seemed so sweet in the confines of his embarrassed, vengeful mind during lunch the day before, and his fellow Marauders had heartily agreed. For a steady three weeks, he had endured receiving daily notes filled with declarations of admiration and love dotted with hearts and lipstick marks. At first he had been flattered, but that was when the notes were still secret. They gradually became more public until all of the sixth year Gryffindors knew of his admirer.

Then even Professor McGonagall found out; Remus and his three friends had almost been assigned detentions when the early signing valentine had arrived proclaiming its love for Dear, sweet Remus. Their head of house believed it to be another of their pranks, and it wasn't until Remus produced the other letters that she believed them.

When he received a letter the next day, he held onto the owl that delivered it and sent a letter back saying he couldn't take her secrecy any longer; he had to know who she was. He had to meet her. The meeting was set for the next day.

That night, the four of them had stayed up bewitching a mimbulus mimbletonia (Sirius had joked it was the only thing he could be grateful to his parents about, owning such rare and unpleasant plants) to appear as a harmless bouquet of flowers.

The next day, the meeting went as planned. He'd seen the girl – fifth year Hufflepuff Muriel Jenkins – before, but he had never spoken with her. He'd carefully given her the disguised plant. The outcome was predictable: she screamed as stinksap covered her, drawing the attention of the until-then oblivious students surrounding them in the Great Hall.

"I didn't know you had that in you." Her green eyes held his; the gaze was almost as reprimanding as McGonagall's or Dumbledore's. She expected better of him. _He_ expected better of himself. He was a Marauder, but he couldn't ever bring himself to enjoy his pranks when someone was hurt by them.

A reassuring arm wrapping around his shoulder startled him, breaking the moment. "Go on," James said smugly, having recovered himself. "Go enjoy your _date_. We know you're regretting having one, now."

She sighed and shook her head. "Just when I think you're finally going to prove me right about you, you have to prove me wrong again."

James held his head high, expression unreadable. She entered the dance without a backwards glance, and his shoulders sagged as his arm fell from Remus.

"She really doesn't like you, mate," Sirius said after she left, placing a comforting hand on his friend.

James shrugged it away. "Why do you always have to embarrass me in front of her?" he demanded hotly.

Sirius was taken aback. "What?! Me embarrass you? You were participating of your own accord! How is that my fault?"

He sighed. "Never mind."

"Hey, look. I can't help it if you don't know how to talk to a girl."

"I never get a _chance_ to talk to her," he lamented. "If you don't turn her away, I do."

"Actually, I think it's always you," Sirius replied thoughtfully.

James glared at him sharply.

He raised his hands defensively. "No, really! I definitely annoy her, but I can't really get to her. You can, for some reason."

"What are you suggesting…?"

"Well, if your method really works, Sirius," Remus began back on subject.

"Of course it does!" Sirius protested.

He looked to James who was watching Lily converse with some friends. "Then go get her."

This diverted his attention from the dance, and he turned to stare at his friend in a cross between admiration, thanks, and self-doubt.

"Listen to you, Moony! Such a romantic. 'Go get her.'" Padfoot rolled his eyes. "If Prongs is going, we're all going. We're sticking to the plan."

Moony turned to his boastful friend, "Fine, but there are rules."

"What? Wait a second!" squeaked Wormtail. "Don't I have a say in this?"

"No," the other three stated together.

"But I'm no good with girls…"

"Then tonight is for learning," Prongs said back to his normal self. "All right, Moony! Tell us your rules."

"It's simple," he said crossing his arms over his chest. "If your pick up line is so stellar, then that's what we all have to do."

Wormtail paled. "Say that line about the prettiest valentine?! R-Remus! You know that they'll only laugh at us if we do!"

"I mean the dancing part," he clarified. "We have to get them to dance with us."

Sirius raised a cynical eyebrow, "That's it? That's all?"

"Should be a breeze with your technique," Remus goaded. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched James' reaction, but there was nothing he could read.

"It will be!" Padfoot asserted.

"A-ask girls to dance?" Peter sputtered. "I-I can't!"

Remus met his eyes and subtly motioned to James. "Sure you can."

Roughly an hour later, Remus had yet to acquire even a single dance partner. The way things had been going, he was counting any endeavor that resulted in an approached female speaking to him rather than ignoring him or storming away as a victory.

At the moment, he was standing discreetly out of sight along the edge of the room with a glass of butterbeer for his companion while checking the progress of his fellow Marauders.

Sirius' success throughout the night had been variable. He'd had many a dance partner – the girls simply fell at his good looks and charm. Snogging had obviously been the "good fortune" for a few of them. Of course, Remus was not the only one who had noticed, and Sirius was beginning to run into a slight problem now that word was beginning to spread. For all this, though, he only sent his friend a confident, unabashed grin when he noticed him watching.

Peter's success seemed to place him as the luckiest out of them all for the night. Dancing between _two_ girls, the grin on his face was positively gleeful and very reminiscent of his Animagus form.

And James… James was not too far from Remus. He was rocking back and forth on his heels in a misleading, excited manner; nervous and impatient, his fingers beat light patterns on his leg at his side. He'd danced with a few girls – when his courage had failed him and he'd asked the girl closet to him instead of asking her.

Lily and her date were surrounded by a group of excited, chattering students. James strode purposely towards them; as he approached, Lily's date conveniently left her probably in search of refreshments. As if taking a cue, the crowd around her dispersed when they saw James coming, allowing him to speak with her alone.

Remus sidled down the length of the wall a little ways so he could hear.

She pretended to be distracted by the dance at first, but when he stopped directly in front of her, she couldn't ignore him. "What do you want, James?" Her tone conveyed annoyance, though Remus was unsure of the source; had she noticed James hanging around or was she still upset about earlier?

He remained unaffected by her light barb, but his nerves showed with the blunt nature in which he asked his question rather than leading into it, cool, suave, and collected as usual. "Would you care to dance?"

She blinked at his request, clearly not expecting it. "I have a date," she pointed out, sarcasm hovering just under the radar.

"I've been following you all night long and asking other girls to dance," he explained.

Lily rolled her eyes as she took what he was saying the wrong way. In her defense, James _was_ always showing off in front of her; it was only natural that such an admission and his drawing attention to the fact of dancing with others would come across as such. "Why do you insist upon-"

"You're the only one I want to dance with," he said in a rush. His eyes darted between hers, jaw set determinedly to stand his ground.

Her entire posture and expression changed, but Remus was too far away to properly read it. Widened eyes spoke to her surprise, and her stance seemed…open somehow.

"I want to prove you wrong," James said stepping closer, taking confidence from her reaction.

Lily shook her head and met his eyes. Remus had to strain to hear her. "No. I want to be proven right."

He thought back to what she had said earlier in the evening. It was something so small, but Remus knew it made a world of difference to James.

"Then let me prove it to you." He held out his hand with a small dip of his head.

Her eyes rested on his upturned palm, considering. After a moment, she said "All right." Looking up, she gave him her hand. "Let's dance."

And dance they did. Almost immediately after they hit the floor, a new song played – this one slow. A few words were spoken between them, and then she laid her head on him. All was going well as the song drew to a close. Lily pulled away from him and said something before standing on her toes and moving forward to kiss his cheek, but James' body was jerked away from hers at just the right instant. Or wrong instant. Lily's date stood, fuming between the two of them. He said something to James.

But instead of an outburst or retaliation, James stood back and did nothing but stare at Lily.

Seeing this, Lily smiled at him, and then allowed herself to be taken away by her date. James turned directly to Remus as if he'd known he was there and watching all along. A wordless exchange took place between them.

Leaning against the wall, Moony took a sip of his butterbeer with a small smile and a nod. Tonight had been a good night after all.

---

"Well," Sirius said with a slap on his back, "Go on, then! Remember everything I've taught you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I don't need your encouragement."

"No, but knowing your Valentines history, you might need my back up."

"Merlin forbid the day I ever need _your_ back up in matters pertaining to my love life, among many others."

He huffed. "Fine! I'll leave you to it, then. – Only… those _are_ my couches, so should you have any urges… -"

Remus' cheeks warmed. "Padfoot!"

He put his hands up defensively, "Just get a room is all I'm saying."

"Remus? Is that you?"

Only the sound of Tonks' waiting voice in the room beyond convinced him not to hex his long time, childhood friend who took the cue to leave.

Remus watched his friend's retreating form disappear down the hall and out of sight as he took the stairs. Running a hand through his graying hair, he exhaled before opening the door.

Upon entering the drawing room, he found her reading in 'his' chair. She grinned at him smugly. "Finders, keepers."

Rather than responding, he let his eyes rove her body's lazy, reclining position. Her back was practically flat on the seat of the chair, bum pressed against the upholstered arm. The fabric of her pink shirt – upon which some Valentiney phrase obstructed from view by inconvenient folds was scrawled – had ridden up exposing a peek of the smooth, pale flesh of her stomach. One leg bounced on the other at her crossed knees, causing other parts of her body to jiggle slightly. He shifted his attention to her feet that hung over the arm of the chair in pink toe socks covered with cupid arrows and little red hearts.

"Checking me out, Lupin?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a sly grin.

"Just admiring your socks," he said casually. Not that he cared whether she knew he was checking her out. In fact, he preferred that she did know when he was. However, her position on the chair reminded him of a previous warning involving furniture and its owner, and he decided to avoid the topic and its various tangents entirely. "Is it really necessary for each toe to be separated from the others?"

She wiggled the petite digits. "What? You don't think they're cute?"

"Isn't it uncomfortable?" He wiggled his own toes in his shoes experimentally. The only time they were separated from each other was when his socks contained holes, and that was far from anything he'd call comforting.

Tonks shook her head emphatically. "Sometimes, they need space."

"I don't like it when my toes are spread apart."

She chuckled. "You prefer them in communal environs?"

"I prefer being together."

She smiled genuinely, but a mischievous glimmer lurked in her eyes. She wiggled in her seat, "Nice try, but I'm not sharing," and brought her book up again to read.

"I'm so obvious, am I?"

"I can read you like this book."

"Which must be quite entertaining if you're paying attention to it more than me on Valentines Day," he teased.

She gave him a flat look over the top of the pages. "It's research for work. I only have to read a couple chapters, anyway. Besides, I haven't read a sentence since you entered the room, Valentines Day or not."

His mouth turned upward at her admission.

Then she panicked as she realized something. "You didn't have anything else planned, did you?" she asked in a rush. Before he could respond, she continued, "I wasn't planning on reading this tonight. I just took it out while you and Sirius-"

He shook his head causing her to pause. "It's fine," he said crossing the room to stand in front of her. "If you don't mind, I just planned to spend the rest of the evening with you. You can read your book, if you like."

She scrunched up her face and shook her head quickly. The book she laid on the table behind her and peered up at him, reaching for his hand. "Did I mention that dinner was lovely?"

He slid his thumb over her knuckles. "You did."

"Oh. Well, I'm telling you again. The food was delicious, and I really appreciate all the trouble you went through to make the setting so romantic. – Even if Sirius did keep interrupting."

Remus chuckled. "Thank you. I haven't quite figured out how to get him back yet, but when I do, I'll be sure to fill you in."

"Ooo," she said eyes lighting with mischief, "Include me in your plans if you can."

He ducked his head slightly and raised a roguish eyebrow, peeking at her through his fallen fringe. In a low voice he suggested, "Or you could plot with me."

She grinned slowly, almost as an afterthought as if she remembered rather than heard what he said. "I could."

He bent a little to reach and brought her knuckles to lips. "You're my first Valentine," he mumbled quietly for reasons unknown to him.

She blinked, surprised by the quick turn of topics.

He closed his eyes momentarily in self-annoyance as he straightened. It wasn't something he'd intended telling her. It was a useless bit of information, and though probably endearing to her, he didn't want Tonks to think that his love life was a hopelessly tragic one.

"Really?" Her confused voice drew his attention.

"Well, I can't take it back now that I've said it aloud, can I?"

"It's not so bad…" she said thoughtfully. "Before now, it's always been a bit of a disappointment for me. Chocolate and dates in Hogsmeade with boys you only sort of liked or were maybe infatuated with. It sets you up for a fall… You didn't miss much." She raised her eyes to meet his, "You're my first real Valentine, you know?"

"Real Valentine?" he asked.

She nodded and smiled softly, tugging gently at his hand still wrapped around hers. "This is the first time I've ever actually been in love on the fourteenth of February."

His eyes were drawn to her dark ones, and he suddenly wanted to kiss her. Amazing how she could do that to him… Instead, he settled to squeeze her hand and reply with a simple, "Me too."

"But… Are you really sure? First Valentine ever?" she clarified.

He nodded.

"How's that possible?" she frowned, not believing him.

"Long story," he said lightly. "Lots of bad luck."

"Hm." She still looked skeptical. "Are you sure that's not some pickup line Sirius _taught you?_"

His eyebrows arched. "You heard that?"

She grinned. "Mm-hm."

Laughing a little, he shook his head. "No, he taught me a different line."

"Does it work?" she wanted to know.

"You tell me," he said pulling her up from her seat and close to himself, faces inches apart. "Let's dance."

Only he had a different sort of dance in mind.


End file.
